I assume you are pulled between your family in St Louis, and where you spent so much of your life, the Washington, DC, area.
My gut feeling is that you will end up in St Louis. I don't think you would do well retired. You would need something to keep you going. Would you continue to work at least a bit in the civilian world?
I fly much more than I ever expected I would at this point in my life. I fantasize every time passing through an air terminal that we our paths would cross. How close would our paths have to be for us to recognize each other? If close enough, who is more likely to recognize the other? First? How awkward would it be? Would I change my flight plans? Probably. Would we get into a serious discussion of options? Hopefully.
You said it would take eight years to get over a love affair. I say it ended in 2004 -- the reality, but not the love affair -- ended in 2004. Eight years means that 2012 will be the end of the memories. Perhaps for you; not for me.
Not a particularly good version, but the words, oh, the words ... time has passed us by ...
First of May, Maurice and LuLu