I Need Your Touch

Tonight I happened to catch the last half of "Ghost" on television. I have never seen the entire movie from beginning to end, but I have probably seen more than half of it in small snippets over the years. Tonight, I can finally say I have seen the entire movie.

Near the end of the movie, I was transported back to the house at the top of the hill.

The house at the top of the hill.Unchained Melody, Righteous BrothersSimply amazing what can be packed into three-and-a-half minutes.

Children Grow Up To Be People One Day

After I retired from the Air Force in 2007, I went back to school ... as a substitute teacher in San Antonio ... teaching at the middle school and high school level. And three years later I continue to substitute teach.

I think this video best captures my feelings tonight ... alone ... as memories flood over me ...

... children grow up to be people, as Lulu says, but some hold their childhood innocence forever ... I hope you are doing well ...


To Sir With Love, Lulu

Where Do You Go To When You're Alone, My Lovely

This is really, really cheesy. It is so 1969. But it sounds like the song could have been written by Leonard Cohen. But where do you go to when you're alone in your bed?



Where Do You Go To My Lovely, Peter Sarsted

From a House on a Hill

This is taken from my music site:


You Don't Own Me, The Blow Monkeys

I would love to share this with you.

Of course, this song has nothing to do with Hunter S. Thompson, but when I listen to the arrangement by The Blow Monkeys, I think of HST, and reading the poetry he wrote of the Hell's Angels. It makes no sense, I know, but that's what I think of when I have a couple of glasses of white wine and listen to the song. RIP HST.

[Listening to this again, it seemed I had heard the introduction somewhere before.  And then it occurred to me, Nina Simone's "I Put A Spell on You." Not exactly but the same haunting, bluesy beginning. Wow. And then I thought of an atrium in a farmhouse at the top of a hill in Pateley Bridge. Wow.]

Arvo Part Te Deum

Te Deum, Arvo Part, Berliner Messe

Reminiscing

This is a note I sent to someone when the subject of walking came up:

I've always walked; very weird. It isn't about the exercise; gives me time to think, I guess.

I remember late night walks growing up in Williston -- seeing the "northern lights" always fascinated me. Crackling, crisp snow underfoot. So very quiet when the wind wasn't blowing. No one out walking or driving. I was always the only one walking out there. Almost surrealistic (from on-line dictionary: Having an oddly dreamlike or unreal quality -- which is exactly the right word, I guess). (I can remember specific walks, but I don't recall why I would have been out there at that time, or in that specific part of town.)

In my hitchhiking days, also did a lot of walking. Among the most impressible walks was directly through the entire city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania; took all night; started about 7:00 p.m. and got to other side sometime the next morning (I forget when; and I forget whether I even had anything to eat). I asked one policeman for directions before starting out; he pointed in the right direction (I assume) but he said I would never make it.

I substitute teach tomorrow: too far to walk on a regular basis -- six miles each way.

With regard to church / reading the gospel -- good for you. My favorite memories of church were when I was alone some years ago in northern England. I attended the cathedral in Ripon, Yorkshire, England. Very poorly attended. But very intimate. About 30 minutes by car from where I was stationed. A friend would take me. After a day hiking Yorkshire, I often ended up back at the cathedral for evensong. During that time became a great fan of Arvo Part, particularly 'Te Deum.'

Some nights I would walk to the local village church (the door was always open; I never met the vicar (?) but his house was attached); and about midnight I would be sitting in the pews (absolutely darkness, no lights; I had to feel my way into the chapel; the only light was the moon) and with my portable CD player and headphones would listen to Arvo Part. I think starting about 3:50 in "Te Deum" was most stirring.

When we were stationed in Turkey, I did not dare take walks as such, but when we visited the "outback" -- Cappadocia -- it made sense to me how Paul could have had the thoughts he had. It is so desolate, but there is something more than even that. North Dakota can be desolate but there was a special feeling that came over me when I was in Cappadocia. Maybe just an artificial feeling because I knew its history, but I don't think so. I think it was real. Weird.

Just reminiscing. 

A Borderline Personality

This takes me back to 2002 or thereabouts and Yorkshire.

I think a clinical psychologist would enjoy Diane Wood Middlebrook's biography of Anne Sexton, c. 1992.

I'm only a few pages into the book, so I may be premature in writing this, but to me Anne Sexton was a clear example of the borderline personality. So far, that diagnosis has not been mentioned or entertained in the book. (Okay, finally on page 65, I see the word "borderline" and it's possible it was mentioned earlier, but I don't recall seeing it earlier.)

It would be interesting to discuss this with a clinical psychologist, preferably a particularly knowledgeable, compassion therapist.

Maybe more on this later. For the time-being, one can follow my thoughts on Anne Sexton here.